Learning ~ 17th Day of 30 day blog challenge

Once upon a time there was a single mum who lived with her 7 year old son. Many days were spent working as a volunteer at her son's school so she could help children learn to read. After many weeks of supporting these children, the teacher decided that there were other children who could use some help with their maths work. The teacher approached the mum and asked if she would be happy to help out. The mum said she would be delighted and began to work with a small group of children during their maths lesson. The mum realised that the regular methods that were being used in the class were not helping these children so she asked if she could introduce some games to see if this would help. The teacher was happy to try anything and gave the mum permission to play some games.

The mum took out several board games and asked the children to choose which game they wanted to play. The children chose snakes and ladders. A very popular game with children because there are elements of competition and various challenges. Each time someone slid down a snake, they were asked to answer a question.

During the game, the mum realised that the children were not particularly good at taking turns and needed to learn that each person had a go while everyone else waited. She decided that not only did the children need to learn their maths, but also needed to learn some social skills. After they finished playing the game, she approached their teacher to discuss this with her. The teacher agreed and expressed her gratitude for the mum's input.

Over the next few weeks, the children began to understand that the game playing was much more enjoyable when everyone got a fair share and started to make the effort to wait patiently and take turns. The added bonus to playing the games was that their maths also improved over time.

Sometimes we need to take the time to give others a chance to do the things they find difficult and be patient enough to wait for them to discover something we have known for a while.

Some tips for using Hub Pages ~ Day 15 blogging challenge!

Here is an article about using Hub Pages from Magical Marketing expert Julia Stege. Julia is known for providing quality information and support to help conscious entrepreneurs develop their marketing. Well worth reading!

by Julia D. Stege, MFA

I learned about Hub Pages about 2 years ago in a free class on how to dominate page one rankings on Google. Since then I have gotten to page one of google for a number of keyword phrases with the help of Hub Pages. When I am hired by solopreneurs, companies and websites to improve their Google page ranking, Hub Pages is often the tool that gets the fastest results. In this review I'll lay out the simple "Do's" and "Don'ts" for Hub Pages and help you get started.

The Pro's: A Great Authority Site

Hub Pages is a free web service that hosts informational web pages for its users. It is considered an Authority Site because it gets high ranking on Google and has lots of visitors; great for getting to page one of Google.

You can create as many "Hubs" as you like, and add text, pictures, videos, and links in your Hub. Hub Pages rewards pages with lots of great content by giving them great ranking both within HubPages (where dedicated Hubbers can find your stuff) and in Google.

The Hub Pages interface is very basic and easy to follow. You start by selecting your title, URL, and tags (make sure to include your keyword phrase in all three areas.) Then select a basic template and Hub Pages will quickly set up a starter page for you.

You can customize your pages with a simple stylesheet as well as bold, italic, underline, sub and super-script, bullets and numbered lists.

Include photos and videos whenever possible. HubPages loves media and will reward your page with better ranking. Other features are available in the Capsules options area, including news, links, text, photos, comments, ebay, html code, quiz, rss, polls, amazon.com search and tables. Using several of these features in your Hub will enhance your site ranking.

Hub Pages: Some Challenges to Overcome

HubPages insists on original, unique content on its pages and punishes you if your Hub is "Over Promotional." That means you have to use unique content and link sparingly. This is a huge drawback to Hub Pages in comparison to blog sites like Blogger and Wordpress, or even Squidoo, all of which allow you to post duplicate content and multiple links.

You can program in links but again, be careful with links on HubPages. I cannot say that loudly enough because if you link to one website more than 2ce in your Hub, HubPages will flag your page and deny your publishing request.

When you have finished your Hub, make sure to promote it. Hub Pages provides forums where you can pal around with other Hubbers and include links to your new hubs. Also invite friend from your social networks using the share button.

Hub Pages continues to be a great tool for Search Engine Optimization. It gets me to page one of Google almost every time. Just be cognizant of the rules and offer real, consumable content.

Join and start Hubbing now. It's easy, it's free, and you'll love the results.

Magical Marketer Julia D. Stege, MFA helps people attract their perfect customers with a unique combination of Law of Attraction, wildly attractive logos and websites, and smart Internet marketing techniques. If you're ready to start attracting your perfect customers now, get Julia's free Magical Marketing Toolkit at http://www.magicalmarketingtoolkit.com

Boxing Day Proper ~ day 14 of blogging challenge

Good afternoon, morning, evening or maybe even night time, depending on what time of day it is where you are while you read this.
I woke up this morning to send my son off on his first "Sales" adventure. He is such a lovely young man and I am so proud of who he is. He has overcome many obstacles in his young life and he totally inspires me to keep going when I often feel like giving up.
When I returned from sending him on his way, I decided to see what gifts were going to be provided vie the medium of television. I am so grateful because my favourite programme is on all day! Extreme Makeover - Home Edition. All Day!
I shall be writing a few more things on the other blog which I set up for Fans of Extreme Makeover because it is more appropriate. All I can say at this point, is there has been a great deal of crying tears of joy, as well as discussing with my partner the potential of replicating something like this across the globe. Ty Pennington and the design team really lead the way.
I'll let you know how my son gets on with his bargain hunting, in the meantime, I'm hooked on TV! Stay tuned :-)

13th Day of blogging challenge ~ nearly Boxing Day

Well, Christmas Day is over once again...the food and drink, the loving hugs and tears of joy expressed over the receiving of an unexpected and well thought gift. The love I am surrounded with has enabled me to feel strong enough to face the challenges and obstacles that will come along over the next few months as I strive to go forward and make a difference in the world.

Boxing Day (Saturday) will provide many people with the opportunity to make purchases for next Christmas and birthdays in 2010 as the sales begin in the morning. My son has made the decision to be one of those people. I remember when I was his age travelling up to Oxford Street to search for an incredible bargain. I didn't really know what I was looking for, just knew I wanted to find something that had lots of money off. I went to HMV with a friend and her father, who was providing us each with some money to buy something. I had never experienced the "Sales" before, so I really didn't know what to expect or what to do. I saw a couple of albums that were reduced so I said I wanted them. I can't even remember who the artists were.

The memory is over thirty years old, yet while I think about it now it seems not that long ago. Time has gone by so quickly. Today is already a memory, spent enjoying the humourous programmes, Morecombe and Wise, Lee Evans and a beautiful film that was one of the lovely gifts I received this morning The Darjeeling Limited. Definitely recommended.

My thoughts go out to those who have been unable to spend their day with loved ones.

Xmas eve missed day 12 of blogging challenge!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Yesterday I missed writing a post as I was so caught up in the moment of preparation. I think perhaps I need to make this post extra special not only because it's Christmas Day, but because I missed yesterday. Well, I shall do my very best.

This morning I awoke with an expectation of peace, calm and happiness. Why would this be different from any other day? And could we please have more of this each and every day of the year? Let's hold on to this feeling and generate it wherever we go and whatever is happening in our lives.

I am so happy to be spending today with people I love and who love me. The dinner is slowly roasting itself away in the oven and I have alraedy enjoyed two large glasses of a special concoction which I believe should become the new Christmas breakfast beverage. Half a bag of frozen raspberries, half a bag of frozen tropical fruit, half a carton of tropical juice (of your choice) and several large dashes of Havana Club. Blended to a smoothie consistency and poured into tall glasses...Yum!

After all the wintry weather we have had lately, today we have been blessed with golden sunshine and blue skies. The birds flew around this morning like they had been reborn. I am reminded of the hope that lives within all of us at this time and it makes me wonder what we can do to make this feeling last. I wonder if we could help this feeling to go on endlessly, oh why can't every day be like Christmas. Everyone greets each other with such love and welcome. People from all around the world shake hands online, on the phone and with cards. There is such a feeling of unity and the spirit of giving surrounds us. So let's keep this party going and do it all over again tomorrow and the next day.

I sincerely hope that wherever you are and whatever you are doing, that your life is filled with love and laughter and each experience brings golden lessons.

Merry Christmas...

Day 11 of 30 day blogging challenge

Greetings!
I have just viewed one of Louis Theroux "Wierd Weekends". In this particular programme he visits a marriage agency in Thailand that connects Western men with Thai women. The men he meets are genuinely searching for love and have experienced heartbreak and are somewhat disillusioned with women, in particular "Western" women.

Louis' natural interest brings him to a meeting with one of the clients while he meets a Thai woman for the first time. She speaks no English so has the support of an English speaking chaparone. The English man has decided that this woman has potential and gives her his phone number and other contact details, although he has had his heart broken and informs her that every woman he has ever been with has left him for another man. He feels they have connected and invites her and her son to come and visit him. The very next day, he has met and married a completey different woman! Louis is disappointed that he didn't get an invitation! One of the men Louis met at the beginning of the programme had within 3 hours of meeting his Thai bride proposed and married 6 days later. Within 8 days they had separated. I would like to have been able to investigate further what is behind this incredible desire and rush to marry a complete stranger.

I viewed this programme on the same day that I came across this article in The Guardian which is a very strong response to a previous article which discusses the Conservative views on marriage and the family. Both articles make for interesting bedtime reading and highlight the growing political interest in marriage and family life. It is interesting to know that marriage and family life is causing such political debate in Britain. It makes sense to invest time, money and resources to develop strategies to improve family life as this will have long term implications for the economy as well as for families in general.

A great amount of information and research comes from America, I made a journey to San Francisco in 2008 to attend The Smart Marriages conference because I wanted to connect with experts who work in the field of family therapy and relationship / marriage education. I came away feeling incredibly inspired and motivated to bring back something of tremendous value to England because I could see that the vision was to improve the quality of family life by teaching people the skills to have healthy, loving, committed relationships.

Just some of my thoughts for the day.

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Day 10 of 30 day blogging challenge

Not long to go now til people in millions of homes across the world will once again be wondering what it's really all about. There are times when I ask myself this exact same question. I believe that the feeling of giving and receiving could be expressed all through the year, as the greetings that people offer each other at this particular time are of love and togetherness, why not spread that all year round?

I feel very fortunate because I have great people in my life and I have been given many opportunities to live a great life. I have experienced travel to other countries, worked with incredible people who are prepared to dedicate their lives in service to others, met inspirational people from all walks of life, lived in a city which has offered a place for people from all over the world to live, work and be free.

I look out of my living room window today and see a sky so blue that I could be sitting in a Caribbean village. A far cry from the snow, wind and freezing temperatures of late. The atmosphere in my house is electric, my son is getting ready to go and meet friends in the West End and I have already enjoyed a lovely conversation with my wonderful father. I feel so incredibly happy.

Our cat Phoebe (who went missing recently) is talkative and asking for more food. She's recently been diagnosed with overactive thyroid, which makes her far more hungry, thirsty and badly behaved than ever before. I learned that there is a high risk of kidney failure and heart failure with this condition. She is over 17 years old so she has had a good life with us. She was a rescued cat from a cat shelter when my son was 8 years old 9 years ago. They were drawn to each other and inseparable (until the missing incident a few weeks ago) so it will be tough on him in particular when it is time to say goodbye.

Today has already been a day of blessings and I am choosing to focus on all the wonderful blessings I have in my life. This is something that many people who are in the personal development arena encourage you to do if you wish to turn around the negatives into positives. This is also something that great spiritual teachers have spoken of for many thousands of years.

My recommendation for you today and every day is that you find the blessing within each situation, which may often be a challenge. However, doing this simple thing alone will bring surprising results and is well worth it.

Sending you positive vibes and loving energy.

Thank you for reading

Day 8 of 30 day blogging challenge

The snow is repeating its original visit over London. The sky has once again turned to a dark blue and the street lights have already flickered on, stars hidden by the reflection of the orange glow from too many. Houses decorated with Christmas lights create a joyous impression to those who walk past. A silence ensues. A peaceful hum befalls the internal environment as the inquisitive mind studies the days gone by. This life has brought mystery and humour, chaos and calm, anger and love.
Questions race against each other to find the solution or answer.

Day 7 of 30 day blogging challenge

The evening spent in glorious film mode. First to be enjoyed "Dirty Dancing" Dirty Dancing: The Ultimate Girls' Night In Collector's Edition [1987] [DVD] with the late Mr Swayze and Ms Grey. Enjoyed all the more as it was spent cuddled up and loved up.

Second film viewed "The Wedding Singer"The Wedding Singer: Special Edition [1998] [DVD] with Mr Sandler and the very watchable Ms Barrymore. Unexpected viewing, and ultimately entertaining. I am feeling more in the festive spirit and even more grateful for the people in my life.

The 1963 story of "Dirty Dancing", filmed in 1987 with original artistes and music provides great dancing scenes as well as a strong storyline and enchanting background setting in North Carolina. Although I have watched "Dirty Dancing" many times, each time I watch it I realise something different about the film as well as life itself.

There are many injustices and one of them is the misconceptions and judgements people place on others without even knowing them. Even though the film is set in the 1960s and was made in the 1980s, it is valid today and has managed to stand the test of time. It is also a great reminder of the magic that Patrick Swayze brought to the screen.

"The Wedding Singer" is a film I have begun to watch on a few occasions without being able to complete it. This evening was different. I not only enjoyed the humour and romantic confusion, I could also enjoy the 80s soundtrack for what it was and happily sang along with some of the tunes. Adam Sandler brings comedic genius to the character he portrays and with Drew Barrymore creates something that many screen couples are not able to convey to the viewer.

I have again been reminded of the simple things in life that make it worth living as well as the joy that can be brought from appreciating what is.

As D. H Lawrence said...
The dawn was apple-green,
The sky was green wine held up in the sun,
The moon was a golden petal between.

She opened her eyes, and green
They shone, like flowers undone
For the first time now, for the first time seen.

See everything as though seeing it for the first time.

Day 6 of 30 day blogging challenge

I understand something about the process of writing every day even if I have nothing to say at the beginning. During the coaching process, I encourage my clients to replace negative limiting beliefs with positive affirmations each time they catch themselves thinking the negative thought. The process of doing this every time over a minimum of thirty days can help eliminate the limiting belief.

One of my limiting beliefs is that I won't be able to write for 30 consecutive days. I am now beginning to alter this thought to replace it with one that is more conducive to a positive writing experience.

Today has been calm and peaceful and I have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my loved ones and experiencing the pleasure of being in a loving and committed relationship with someone who values and respects me. I am also grateful for the wonderful parenting experience I have been blessed with. I realise more and more how much I have to be grateful for.

I watched the Strictly Come Dancing final this evening and was disappointed about the result, to say the least. I rang my mum immediately upon hearing the result as I knew she had been watching from the beginning. "Robbed!" was her verdict and first comment when she answered the phone. We had a lovely conversation about the injustice of the competition as Chris Hollins had the advantage of being on television every day and was able to promote himself on morning television to an adoring public. The decision was not based on his dancing ability, albeit he had shown significant improvements.

The popularity contest that this dancing competition became, provided Mr Hollins with an opportunity to win over the British public (who were at home this evening and able to make a phone call!). Perhaps if Ricky Whittle had been able to promote himself daily, his chances could have improved. It doesn't matter too much that he didn't win, everyone knows who was the best dancer on the night, and it wasn't necessarily the person who won.

If Chris Hollins had not believed in himself, and listened to the judges right at the beginning of the competition, he may have given up a long time ago. Ricky Whittle had been told by the judges that he was the winner right from the start.

It has been an interesting competition with many disappointments as well as exciting moments. Much like life. What you learn from the experience is what enriches the lesson.

Day 4 & 5 of 30 day bloggin challenge

Well, yes I didn't post yesterday and I don't suppose it counts adding two days into one. Ah well... The snow yesterday totally threw me off course and I got a bit distracted. I also found so many things to read that I lost track of time so I didn't get around to writing anything.

So those are my excuses and I thought today I would make sure I say something at least because otherwise I will have given up on only the 4th day and I believe that if you give up that early then you really have no intention of making it to the finish line so why begin in the first place?

If it takes 12 days to get somewhere and the journey is arduous so you give up on the 10th day, you will not reach your destination (obviously). So if you continue for another couple of days, you will make it. A little bit each day eventually gets you there.

So I thought I would at least make an effort to catch up and post something today and carry on for the rest of the days otherwise I will feel like I failed right at the beginning.

I am currently reading a book called The Buddha, Geoff and Me: A Modern Story It is written by Edward Canfor Dumas and is a great novel which explains some complex Buddhist theories and teachings in a humourous and intelligent manner. I am really enjoying the story and it helps the reader to learn what Buddhism is about without it being too academic.

I have been practising Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism for several years and as the teachings are from 13th Century Japan, I often struggle with some of the concepts.The Buddha in Daily Life: Introduction to the Buddhism of Nichiren Daishonin is a book I have been meaning to read for some time, I think now is the time for me to get hold of a copy and get down to some studying!
The Buddha, Geoff and Me: A Modern Story is helping me to grasp things in a way I hadn't anticipated. I would recommend reading this book if you are interested in learning more about Buddhism, or even if you just want to read a story that is written brilliantly with likeable characters and an intelligent take on the way people are with each other. I was given the book from a fellow Buddhist and friend, Michele, who has just returned from a week's retreat in France with other members. She read the book on her journey to France and realised it was something that I would really benefit from and enjoy. She was absolutely right.

Every now and then the Universe provides you with something that helps you along the way to learning more and supporting you to developing into the person you were always meant to be. This book is one of those offerings and I realise more and more that opportunities come along all the time and it is entirely up to me whether or not I notice them, make use of them and appreciate them. Each time I make the most of something like this, I increasingly realise that more opportunities are then offered. It becomes an upward spiral of infinitessimal proportions. The message I believe that is being conveyed is to make the most of all the opportunities that are offered and to embrace the teaching that is being shown.

So although I didn't manage to write anything yesterday, I had it in my mind that I wanted to and as soon as the opportunity arose, I sat down and got on with the task in hand. I didn't know that this was what I was going to write about when I started a few minutes ago, so I am really glad I took the time to say something. I don't know who is reading this, but if you do, please leave a comment to let me know your reaction to this post. I look forward to hearing form you and will be back again tomorrow.

Enjoy your evening / night / afternoon wherever you are and whatever you're doing.

Day 3 of 30 day power blogging challenge

Every year on about 23rd of December I resign myself to the fact that I can no longer escape the lights, the trees, the colourful decorations and the films and music that jump out from every corner to remind me that the big day is nearly here. On 23rd December I venture out of my house and face the madness of the jam packed shops, the hussle and bussle of the busy high streets, the jossling on public transport and rushing round at the last minute to make sure that I am not the only person in town who is sitting down to a ready cooked meal from the freezer!
I decided to embark on a visit to a local superstore and purchase some fine foods and a couple of bottles of cheer to ensure that I am able to share when visitors arrive and so that I can provide a meal for the family that will have them losening their trousers afterwards because they are filled to the brim.
After having made this decision to go shopping, I made another decision which I felt would inspire me to make good choices for the remainder of the day. I tuned into youtube and viewed an interview with Lisa Nichols . She was one of the guest speakers on The Secret and I enjoy listening to her as she has a great deal to say and is a true inspiration. She mentioned in the interview that she remembers eating beans and sausages with her son on a regular basis when they were struggling and lived in poverty. Today he tells her that his favourite meal is lamb chops. The interview is emotional and it showed Lisa for who she is, a woman who is determined to overcome obstacles to reach her goals "No Matter What" which is the title of her book and a principle she lives by. As the interview came to a close, I looked out of the window and realised that it had begun to snow. I knew that it was time to get going and make my trip to carry out my mission of obtaining supplies for the Christmas period, as well as general groceries.
My partner and I decided to take a cab there and back and we wanted to have a light lunch before walking around the store, which is rather large, to ensure we both had sufficient energy to complete our mission. The cafe that used to be there that provided reasonably priced hot meals and drinks is no longer there and has been replaced by a Costa coffee shop, which charges £3.50 for a small sandwich and another £3 for the coffee. Lunch would cost a minimum of £12! We decided to buy a sandwich from the supermarket and sit on a bench outside as we were sufficiently dressed for the snow!
After we finished our lovely lunch we re-entered the store. We took our time and enjoyed the slow pace with which we carried out our mission. Bit by bit, the trolly became full and it was time to reach the checkout. We had crossed off everything from our list and added a couple of luxury items, which would go nicely with ice! Our cab journey home and the lights that lit our way as we approached the house made me feel more festive than I have in a long time. The incredible thing for me was that the store wasn't full, it wasn't hussle and bussle and there was a great sense of calm among the shoppers.
I am so glad I didn't wait until 2 days before Christmas Day to complete my shopping. I would have remained in the belief that Christmas shopping is crazy and hectic.

Day 2 of 30 day blogging challenge!

I receive questions from clients regarding how to find the perfect man or woman and what they need to do to improve their chances of attracting someone into their life. Often, people are so keen to get together with someone that they rush into a relationship only to find out that a few weeks. months or even years down the road, they discover they no longer wish to be with the same person and don't even know why they got together in the first place. They then have to go through a process of either ending this relationship, spending time being unfaithful and feeling guilty about this, or remaining in the relationship and putting up with less than what they want and truly deserve.

It is so important to first understand who you are and what you want from life. As large a challenge as this may seem, it is not too difficult to realise that whilst it can be a lengthy process it is so worth doing because unless you know yourself and truly love yourself, this will always interefere with your ability to attract the perfect person for you into your life. Ask yourself a few questions and see what insights you gain from doing this:

Where do I want to go in life?
What do I want to be?
What do I want to do?
What do I want to have?
What do I really want my life to look like?

Begin to visualise what you want in your life using all of your senses: taste, hearing, sight, etc. (including the senses that many don't talk about i.e intuition and "gut feeling")
(for more tips like this and incredibly rich information for singles, check out the Conscious Dating website where you can download free audios and articles that will really help you in your quest for the love of your life.)

Be as specific as you can possibly be and write down what comes up. Doing this exercies will allow you to begin the process of re-training your subconscious mind into understanding what it is you truly want in your life, and you will start to attract various things that are in alignment with this.

I'd love to hear from you when you have completed this to see what insights you have. I will then send you some more tips on how to attract the love of your life!

I look forward to hearing from you!

ps. Join me over at http://www.truelovemanifesting.ning.com where there are more tips like this available and a chance to meet other single like minded people.

30 day blogging challenge

I've signed up to the 30 day blogging challenge that has been set by Connie Green. I love writing, yet so many times am stumped for what to say. When I am away from my pc I can think of a million and one witty things to mention and have opinions and views that I would like to share with you, yet when it comes to sitting in front of the pc, I often find I have nothing to say. So, I thought, what a great opportunity to just write every day and not think too much about what I'm saying and see what happens during the next 30 days.

As the run up to Christmas approaches I am noticing more and more the amount of lights cropping up in my street. usually the neighbours across the road from me are the first to have their house decorated and they often have the most lights compared to anyone else. This year was the first year I have had my decorations up before them! An absolute first. I never get decorated until about three days before Christmas and get really excited once the lights are lit (after hours of searching for them and untangling the wires!) I watched "Elf" last night with my son because I enjoy the humour and inevitable positive ending of this happy film. Will Farrell is his usual jolly self and his belief in Santa is almost contageous!

How can I help you find the love of your life!

Click here to take survey
I would like to get to know you some more and find out how I can be of service to you with regard to your relationship and dating needs. I have created a short survey that should only take a few minutes to complete so that I can learn some more about who you are and what you need to help you find the love of your life. I am offering you a free 45 minute relationship coaching session to see how relationship coaching can help you to learn to become a more successful dater, learn some essential relationship skills, uncover your limiting beliefs that could be holding you back from meeting the love of your life and create a vision for your life.
I spent many years experiencing the confusion of relationships and wondering why things didn't work out when it always started out so great. Over the years and with training from The Relationship Coaching Institute, I have learned how to scout, screen sort and test potential dates. I would really like to share with you this incredible information because I want you to discover how to make good choices in your love life so you improve your chances of finding the perfect partner. I do this because I know first hand how painful it can be when your relationships fail you, when you spend time and energy investing in a relationship that is going nowhere, the confusion and sadness that ensues when you spend so much time, money and energy dating and turning over rocks and finding only frogs.
There is nothing for you to lose, complete the survey and receive your free 45 minute relationship coaching session.

Deepak Chopra: What I've Learned About Love

I promised to share interesting articles with you when I first started this blog and I have to say I came across this one just now and was instantly drawn to it. The article is on Eharmony and is by Deepak Chopra. He shares his views about love and I believe it is one of the most beautiful articles about love that I have read in a while which is why I felt compelled to add it here for your enjoyment and education. Please follow this link which will take you to the article. I would love to hear your comments and views about what he says.

Deepak Chopra: What I've Learned About Love

I just came across this video of Earl Nightingale and believe it to be the most honest account of what the personal development movement is about. Have a look and let me know what you think, it is a real eye opener because it was filmed way back in the 1950s.

The ABC of Successful Relationships

Delighted to provide you with up to date information and great articles from around the world with regard to helping you enhance your relationships. This month I share with you a wonderful article from Conscious Dating. Michelle E Vasquez discusses the "A-Z of relationships" Please feel free to leave a comment to share your thoughts on some of the issues raised in the article. Please also feel free to contact me to let me know if this is the type of article you enjoy reading so I can make sure to find more stimulating topics. Enjoy the read!
In this month's article, RCI coach Michelle Vasquez takes us through the "relationship alphabet," sharing thoughtful tips and suggestions for enriching all the relationships of our lives. These wonderful reminders are helpful to those who are just entering a new relationship, those in a relationship, as well as for those who are still searching for the love of their life.

Tara Kachaturoff
Editor

Appreciation and acceptance. Many people need appreciation more than they need love. Accepting your partner and letting go of the need to fix him/her is a sign of maturity and will help you live a more peaceful life.

Benevolence. See your partner with loving eyes. Remember, daily, why you chose to be together.

Commitment. Without commitment, you don't have a relationship. Commitment is the glue that holds the relationship together. When you're committed, you're saying, "I'll do whatever it takes to make my relationship work."

Drop defenses. When you defend yourself, you are looking at your partner as if he or she were your enemy. Seek first to understand instead of raising your shields.

Encouragement. Invest in your relationship by being generous with your words of encouragement.

Forgiveness. We all make mistakes. Choose to be the first to forgive and you'll find that you're forgiven quickly when you mess up.

Gratitude. Choose to find reasons to be grateful for your relationship. Start a gratitude journal and list three things you're grateful for every day. You'll be pleasantly surprised at the results.

Honesty. Brutal honesty and "constructive criticism" have no place in a successful
relationship. Tactfully expressing your thoughts and feelings creates a safe place for your relationship to grow. This is the kind of honesty that nourishes relationships.

Interdependence. This is a balance between the extremes of codependency and extreme independence. People in successful relationships know they can depend on each other while still having the freedom to learn and grow in their own interests. They are secure with themselves and in their relationship.

Joy. Express your excitement to each other when you have successes. Find reasons to be joyful. Watch silly comedies if you can't find a reason to laugh. Laughter is a crucial element in successful relationships.

Kindness. Practice random acts of kindness in your relationship. Think "simple and small." It will be noticed and appreciated.

Loyalty. Be respectful of your partner's privacy. If you speak about your partner to others, make sure you say kind things about her or him. Remember that if you gain sympathy from friends and family by telling them how bad your partner is, they may also resent your partner (and you) when you resolve the conflict. Talk to a professional instead – whether it be a relationship coach, a marriage counselor, a pastor or a priest.

Maturity. Maturity means you can choose whether to engage in an argument. You can
step back and assess a situation without jumping to conclusions. You're ready to listen to your partner. You avoid mind-reading, and instead, you seek to understand.

Negotiate differences. When you have the inevitable conflicts, you look for solutions and stay away from blame. Blame makes you the victim and keeps you from taking responsibility. It stunts your personal growth.

Open to new ideas. You choose to live an aware life on a path of growth. You realize that your relationship needs nurturing to grow.

Pay attention. You'll know your partner's likes and dislikes if you simply pay attention. Be aware of your partner's successes and failures. Share in the joy and be attentive to their pain.

Quiet time together. Quality time together doesn't always mean "talk time." Watch a movie, read a book, or simply be in the same room together. These are simple ways to spend quiet time together.

Respect. The old adage "give respect to get respect" is really important in your relationship. If you belittle and criticize your partner, and then complain that she or he doesn't respect you, you're expecting your partner to change first. That rarely works. What else can you do?

Strong support system. You need support to keep your relationship viable. If it takes a whole village to raise a child, it takes a whole village to help a relationship thrive. Surround yourself with people who want your relationship to succeed.

Trust. Decide to give your partner your trust. In return, be trustworthy.

Unselfish attitude. When relationships go sour, somebody got selfish. Examine your behavior. Do you always want things your way? Do you think of yourself first?

Volunteer. Unless your relationship began with a shotgun (shotgun wedding), you volunteered to be here. Nobody forced you to be in this relationship. When you volunteer to do something, you commit to being there and doing what it takes to get the job done.

Warmth. Too many times when people argue, they punish each other with cold, silent withdrawal. Keep in mind that you can take time apart to think over your differences without resorting to a week of silent treatment. Create a new strategy for conflict. Agree to take a break to cool off and work on finding a solution.

Xenial attitude. The word "xenial" relates to being kind to strangers. If you treat your partner the way you would treat a stranger, with politeness and courtesy, you will avoid the trap of that old Mills Brothers' song, "You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all."

Yield. This doesn't mean you just have to "just take it" when you're in a conflict. The ability to yield demands a high level of maturity and self-confidence. You can stop a fight by simply yielding. It doesn't mean you think you're wrong; it can mean you would rather "win" the relationship than win the argument.

Zeal and zest. Be passionate about your relationship. Celebrate your successes together. Take time to remember why you fell in love with each other.

Copyright © 2009 by Michelle Vasquez. All rights reserved in all media.

Michelle Vasquez
Michelle E. Vásquez, MS, LPC, is an RCI Relationship Coach who helps singles and couples attract the life they want and create the relationships that bring them joy. She specializes in working with couples who are experiencing relationship difficulties as well as with singles who want to find the love of their life. www.MichelleVasquez.com. 714.717.5744

50 Ways To Meet Your Lover

There's an old Paul Simon song "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." It tells the listener the amount of ways to sneak away from a lover, "slip out the back Jack...make a new plan Stan...you don't need to be coy Roy...you just listen to me...you just hope on the bus Guss...you don't need to discuss much...you just drop off the key Lee...and get yourself FREE!!!"

Well, how about if there was a guide that told you the 50 ways to MEET your lover? How would that sound? I have searched the Internet, book and film world. I have looked high and low...I've been here there and everywhere (there's another song there too) and spent many days, nights and sleepless weekends racking my brain to find a way to communicate it to you my dear readers, how to find and keep your lover.

Firstly, you have to really truly believe that you deserve to have the perfect partner. Now when I say "perfect" I don't mean that they are flawless...No! What I mean is that they are perfect for you!


Secondly, once you have really truly deep down honest to God felt that deserving feeling, well you then go right on to the next step, which is to answer a few questions about your past. I don't mean your past with previous relationships, heck no. I mean the past from childhood to the present day, maybe even right up until this morning!

This stage will take some time and it is so worth it because until you have dusted those past cobwebs away and cleared the space for this lovely person to come into your life, guess what friend? The only thing you are going to attract is bugs, well this after all is what cobwebs attract isn't it? Have a think about the films you see with cobwebs in houses and squeaky creaky doors...what image does it conjure up? What feeling does it convey...happiness? Bliss? Tranquility? Absolutely not. So have a picture in your mind of something more peaceful and see what you come up with.

The remaining questions you need to ask are in my Build Your Dream Relationship Course, so if you want to find out exactly what they are, then please leave your email address in the sign up box and I will email them to you absolutely FREE!!! I'll tell you right now, there is something you can buy later on if you want to, but this is not part of that. I am offering you to receive some great information that will spiral you forward with regard to your love life.

There are so many people around waiting to meet you but you may not even be looking at them or considering them because they don't fit into your projected image of the "perfect partner". Well, once you realise the kind of person that truly could be the best match for you, you may be surprised to find out that all these years they've been living next door! Or working with you! Or just up the road! Or maybe you have to make a trip abroad and you meet that person in the new town you've moved to! Or you know that course you signed up for? Well that Miss, Mrs, Mr or Ms Match made in the real world dot com is there and you connect in a way you never connected with anyone before, you know it is right and you will never look back. So how do you get to that point?...

Send me an email and I will tell you!
Lots of love

How I manifested the love of my life

I would like to share a story with you, if I may, that reinforces the belief that gratitude and appreciation are what is required to manifest what you truly want and need. I experienced a heartbreaking end to a relationship with someone I thought was the love of my life several years ago. My initial response was filled with anger and resentment. Everything at the time became a problem, my finances were a mess, my house was a mess, my emotions were all over the place. I spent every day crying and hardly slept. All I wanted at the time was to be back with this person as I truly believed this would make me happy. I began to read books and articles about winning back a lost love and getting back to gether with an ex.

I discovered during my search that the anger I felt had actually been holding me back, not only from getting back together with this person, but from experiencing any kind of happiness in other areas of my life. I started to focus my thoughts on things that I appreciated and spent more time feeling grateful for all the wonderful people and experiences I have in my life. I noticed how things were beginning to change and I slowly began to change my outlook which then increased the improvements I was starting to see. I steadily began to feel happier inside and this became clear to those around me.

Without working too hard, my career prospects improved, I spent more time enjoying activities with my son and friends, I developed a gratitude that surpassed the feelings of anger and solitude I had been previously feeling and began to realise that I already had what I wanted...Love.

What I learned throughout this experience was that I had limiting beliefs regarding the kind of relationship I could have in my life. Once I uncovered what those limiting beliefs were, I was able to become clear about the kind of man I wanted in my life and what my ideal relationship would look like.

The Universe connected me with a man who is loving, kind, respectful and has a compassion for others. We are now developing our relationship and planning our future. I am now applying this knowledge to other areas in my life and am very excited about the way things are panning out.

Loving Parenting

I have spent some time thinking today about what it's all about. As a parent it has always been important to me to make sure I bring my son up to become a peaceful person and to have respect for himself and others. It hasn't always been easy. It has been incredibly rewarding though. I've just finished reading The Buddha in Daily Life, a book by Richard Causton which is an introduction to Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism. While I was reading the book, I experienced some illuminating realisations. I wished I had made some notes. However, what was most important for me was to read the book and absorb the material.
During the time I spent reading, I realised more and more that I have a really great relationship with my teenage son. I notice each day how parents interact with their children and I believe that one of the ways to lasting peace is for parents to develop a greater understanding of who their child is, to encourage them to be who they are and to support them to be true to themselves.
Like I mentioend earlier, it hasn't always been easy bringing up a young man in today's anti young people society. I have often gone against the grain because I have given him the opportunity to find his own way and to make decisions and choices based on the information he has available to him. I see today a young adult who has a strong sense of who he is and what he wants from life. We have our moments of conflict, however, we resolve things in a way that shows respect and one that mostly nurtures a self who is valued and loved. This, I wholeheartedly believe, is a way towards lasting global peace.
Please feel free to leave a comment:

Finding your soul mate

If you have been in and out of relationships and are wondering how on Earth you are ever going to find the love of your life here's something that may help:

There is so much information online these days telling you how to do things and then you have to sign up and pay for something to receive the full story. I trawled the internet, bookshops, signed up for courses, coaching, workshops, seminars, you name it I signed up for it. I eventually realised that all the information I was being given I already knew.

To be able to attract the right person for your life, you first need to become the person you need to be to attract the right person. You also need to know what you're ordering from the Universe. If this doesn't make much sense, try this:

Picture yourself going out for dinner. You go to your favourite restaurant, order your favourite meal and ask the waiter/waitress to bring you a large glass of your favourite red wine. You are able to picture this quite easily I would imagine, this is because you know what you want. You have deliberately gone out to your favourite restaurant to experience a night of what you want, fine food, good wine, served by people you recognise and trust to serve you well. When your wine and food are brought to your table however, you realise that the wine is Chardonnay and the food you ordered is steak and you're a vegetarian!

How is this possible?

What would you do?

Would you return the food?

Would you ask for the correct wine?

Would you get up and leave?

You are unlikely to accept the meat dish, and you will most likely request that the wine is taken back and you are brought the one that you originally requested. You may even change your mind about the whole thing and walk out to go somewhere else!

Now...

When you are thinking about your soul mate, what do you do?

Do you have a list of the qualities you are looking for?

Would you recognise your soul mate if you were introduced?



This is something you may wish to consider when you are dating or thinking about the kind of person you would like to spend your life with. Before you get to this point, however, it is seriously worth considering the qualities you yourself are bringing to the relationship.

Developments

It's coming up to the weekend and I have been on a great journey of discovery this week. I am really enjoying delivering my love classes and those who are taking part in them are learning valuable lessons in love. I am so grateful to have been given the opportunity to share this information with others. I've learnt and shared so much over the last few years and feel such a buzz when I see the light bulbs going off on the faces of those who are working with me. It's so great to know that the many realisations people experience during the lessons are bringing them closer to attracting and building the perfect relationship for their life. Several years ago when I first began this journey, I couldn't have anticipated a greater outcome. I wish you all a very happy fun and loving weekend. Smile from the inside, and it shows on the outside. Love to all

Self Growth

In the search to find ways to communicate and help as many people as possible, I have joined Self Growth, a community of experts who provide regular articles, newsletters and discussions to help others. The site address is www.selfgrowth.com, take a look, there is a wealth of information for a variety of areas including, spirituality, relationships, family, business and more.

Slumdog Millionaire

I went to watch this film at the cinema and can't wait to get hold of a copy of the DVD as it is such a feel good film, I want to be able to watch it over and over again. The visuals, music and story line make for totally compelling viewing. If you haven't seen the film already, I recommend you get a copy of the DVD as you will definitely not be disappointed, well actually you might feel disappointed that you didn't go to see it at the cinema, but you won't be disappointed with the film. It keeps you gripped from beginning to end.
I look forward to hearing from you with your comments about this post, and if you buy a copy of the film I'd love to hear what you thought of it! Peace and love to all

Great Twitter Money Making Tool

You may think that this is an odd thing to see in a blog that is all about love. Well, during the time I have spent searching and researching, attending seminars and workshops, buying and reading books, blogging and developing a company, it has been important to have the money to pay for all of these things! So I thought it would be helpful if you could find out about how to make some money while you use the internet to do all your searching. So, if you want to make a bit of money while you look for the help you need to find yout true love then click on this link if you would like to find out more about how to make money whilst tweeting!

Huffington Post - mistakes women make

I was flicking through the web, as you do, and I came across this gem of a blog all about the mistakes women make It's a great article and offers some reminders about the things women can do from time to time. I've added it here because I thought it was worth sharing. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Buddhism and Sex

I went to a family day out at the SGI Buddhist centre in Taplow today, the sun shone brilliantly and I sat among good friends and fellow Buddhists having our picnics and discussed all manner of things. We have regular meetings to plan, review progress and provide others with updates and inspiration. One of our monthly gatherings is in the form of a discussion meeting. A topic is suggested at a prior planning meeting and as long as everyone is in agreement, the following meeting will be about that topic. Today I was told that the next topic will be "Sex". I have spent a great many years researching and experiencing this topic in various ways and am curious to understand what the Buddhist perspective is. I will keep you posted on this! If anyone has any thoughts or views, I'd be glad to receive them as this is one that I think many people will want to talk about.

If you would like to find out more about Buddhism in Britain then take a look at this website http://www.sgi-uk.org/

I look forward to hearing from you, with love and best wishes for you as you travel on your journey.

What is Love?

I have just visited a blog and the question asked was "What is Love?" I answered the question, which I will summarise here: Love is an emotion as well as an action and we have the choice whether or not to be open to give and receive love. How much we are able to do this will impact on how much we enjoy our life. It made me wonder if anyone else gives this question much thought, so I rushed over to jot down some thoughts.

I have spent many years experiencing and researching love in all its many guises, and now have set up a company that delivers workshops to help people to learn about love and relationship skills. I believe that love is something that can't be measured and many don't understand.

The evolution of the human being has gone from being incredibly inhumane to a society that is incredibly outraged when hearing injustices against children, and rightly so. This transformation is succinctly documented in Robin Grille's book "Parenting for a Peaceful World" The beginning chapters I found rather gruesome, however, I felt compelled to continue reading and glad that I did. Grille uncovers a world that has been changing over time towards an increasingly conscientious approach to child rearing which is becoming more nurturing. There are more "positive parenting" programmes available now than there have ever been, more and more parents are signing up to these programmes and I am glad to be involved in this development.

As a parent myself, I have spent a great deal of time trawling book shops and having conversations with friends to find out the best parenting practices, I felt I wanted to be the best parent I could and yet I felt I didn't have a clue as to how to go about it. The information wasn't readily available as the magazines I could purchase were mostly focused on the early years, and once your child had reached a certain age, the information was no longer forthcoming.

I decided I would throw myself into studying about child development and child psycholgy so I decided to become a nursery nurse. The two year training gave me various insights into the brain, physical, emotional and mental development of young children. This whetted my appetite to learn more. I spent the next few years volunteering in my son's primary school to experience working with young children who needed social skills support and to be given the opportunity to learn how to share and communicate, skills which are still unfortunately lacking in many, although I have great faith in humankind and am sure this is on the upturn!

I spent several years working with children with additional needs and learnt a great deal about children whilst also learning a great deal about myself. Those young people provided me with many opportunities to reflect and grow. I then decided to study Education at university as I really wanted to develop my knowledge and understanding of how the education system had developed since its introduction.

I have been involved in Education for many years now and am beginning to hear and see patterns emergin. There is a great deal of discussion about how schools impact on young people and I wonder often are they the best environments for the nurturing of young peoples' emotional development?

So getting back to my original question, which was taken from the blog I visited at www.partnersinloveandcrime.com/blog What is Love? If this was a subject that was taken seriously enough, valued and honoured enough to be given space at school to discuss and reflect, perhaps I wouldn't need to be asking this question now! I would dearly love to hear your comments about this particular blog.

My journey to creating Love 2 Learn 2 Love

...I had previously spent a great deal of time mulling over where I was going wrong each time I thought about my relationships that had come to a crashing end. The emotional toil and uncertainty caused by not knowing where I was going wrong, nor how I could resolve the issues that were brought up each time a relationship ended propelled me into the biggest emotional and physical slump I've ever experienced in my life. I considered that I was being sent situations that had some deep and meaningful lesson within them. I couldn't make it out though, how come this kept happening? I decided to concentrate on learning the necessary skills for developing a healthy, happy, loving, committed and long term relationship.


I went online and started to look for relationship education, coaching, mentoring courses and workshops and realised each time that everything I found came from America. There was nothing available in England that I felt resonated with me on a deep enough level to warrant me handing over my hard earned money. I found and read many books that spoke of a greater level of intimacy and love and the authors all heralded from the U.S. I began to realise that if I was going to find the level of support that I required, I would need to head off to America and as I hadn't ever been there before, I felt a little anxious.

During one of my online searches I came across the title of a book "Love is Not a Game but You Should Know the Odds", the title grabbed me and I read some of it on Amazon. The author's name is Randy Hurlburt, I decided to search further and discovered that he is a relationship coach and he offered a free initial consultation via either email or telephone. I signed up immediately because the content of his book had touched me significantly enough for me to want to find out more. I contacted Randy and also ordered the book, I felt it was important to really understand his message if I was going to be on the receiving end of his help.

Over the next couple of years, I spoke to Randy on and off via email and phone, I began to develop a trust in what he was saying and how he supported me in my efforts to recover from a painful break up. During one of the conversations, he told me that he was going to be delivering a series of teleseminars that I could sign up for and that would help me connect with others who were also searching for answers regarding love and relationships. I agreed and even though the seminars took place during the middle of the night due to the time difference between here and America, I made every effort to attend each one over the period of weeks to follow.

I learned a great deal from the workshops and commented one night that this information really needed to be shared in schools. Randy agreed and said he had a friend who was developing her own relationship education programme in Florida www.driversedforlove.com He put us both in touch with each other and we hit it off straight away. Isabell and I emailed each other a few times and in one of her emails she mentioned that there was a conference taking place in San Francisco that she thought I might be interested in. The 12th Smart Marriages Conference www.smartmarriages.com became my focus over the next few months and I scrambled together the air fare, conference fee and spending money to be able to attend.

While I was there, I met many people involved in marriage and relationship therapy in many forms. I met husbands and wives who had set up their own consultancies to share with others the skills they had learnt that helped them to develop their healthy and successful marriages. I took part in several training programmes that I could deliver when I returned to England, as I had decided that what I was really passionate about is what I should be doing as a living.

Sincre my return to England I have set up the company and taken part in further training to ensure I have the necessary skills to deliver to groups. I have recently become a Family Links Parenting Programme facilitator. www.familylinks.org This training has been invaluable and I now feel confident that with my skills, passion and committment, Love 2 Learn 2 Love will continue to grow and increase the chances of those who take part in the workshops to have a profoundly positive impact on their lives.

I strongly believe that everyone deserves to love and be loved. My mission in this lifetime is to learn about love and to share the wisdom I have gained with the world. I look forward to sharing my workshops with you and wish you every success in your life in particular your love life.

manifesting true love

I once thought it would be impossible to manifest the love of my life. Guess what? I found myself in relationships that weren't ideal.


I took a long hard look at myself and focused on what I really felt about Me. This was painful, yet it was the beginning of a relationship I least expected. I spent my time going out on my own to the cinema, to festivals, walks in the park. I basically spent time with myself doing the things I thought I would want to do with a loving partner.


Once I started this, I realised more and more that I began to like my own company. I grew on Me! It became clear to Me! A lightbulb went off in my head! Before I could even begin to have a quality relationship with anyone else, I first had to enjoy my own company and not only that, to feel love for myself. Now this may not be news to you, dear reader, for Me at the time, it was like someone had finally turned on the light. I had been sitting in a darkened room and there wasn't even a switch!




I took some time out from the idea that I wanted to be with someone and became dedicated to learning how to really love Me. I focused all my attention on having happy experiences and encounters with Me. I spent time doing things with Me and generally having a good time. Incredible the events that I started to notice. I had a blast. The Universe started to talk to Me, well actually it had always been talking, I hadn't been listening! I started to notice the colour of the sky, the sound of the birds singing and the changing of the seasons.



I'll save the next chapter for another blog, as I have decided I want to go and spend some more time with Me. I'll speak again soon, with love and a deep respect to all who are seeking love, let that begin with loving yourself. Love You first!

I would dearly love to hear from you so if you would like to share your experiences of finding true love, or would like to comment on any other aspect of the search for true love, then please feel free to post your comments here. I welcome all comments, however, if there are comments posted that are unsuitable I reserve the right to edit or remove them. I trust that you will value this and will want to post a quality comment. Thank you in advance, I look forward to hearing from you.