24th post ~ Learning to Love

Yesterday I wrote a post about people who were afraid to commit to marriage. The divorce statistics are so high that people are afraid to stand in front of their friends and family and declare their life long commitment to each other.

So what can be done to increase the chances of finding the ideal partner, developing a loving and healthy relationship and maintain a healthy and happy marriage? Dr Robert Epstein, Professor at the University of California in San Diego, has published a book called Making Love following several years of personal research and information based on scientific studies as well as interviews with happily married couples.

Making Love blows the lid off the romantic myths that are perpetuated in films and romantic novels. The book provides useful and scientific information to confirm that people can learn to love each other. Dr Epstein discusses "Four Pillars" that are essential in the development of long term loving committed relationships. Namely :

• Commitment
• Realistic Expectations
• Intimate Knowledge
• Essential Relationship Skills

As well as writing about the subject, Dr Epstein is in the process of producing a new reality television show for American TV. This programme "Making Love" will be based on the arranged marriage process provides viewers with a chance to observe 10 couples who are strangers learning how to love.

During the programme the participants will learn things like patience and caring from various counsellors, they will have to sign a "no cheating" contract for the duration of the 10 week programme. Dr Epstein anticipates that there is potential for the growth of new relationships within this series. It may also offer viewers the chance to learn about how love grows. To read a recent interview with Dr Epstein go to the Psychologies magazine website.

There is a great deal of mystery and confusion regarding relationships and so much research has been carried out to help people learn successful strategies that they can implement to improve their chances of attracting and keeping loving, long term healthy relationships.

I suppose many people still feel that it's romantic to leave things to chance, perhaps it is. It takes time to really get to know someone! Why leave it to chance? How much more empowering would it be if we could learn the skills to make it happen?