I just came across this video of Earl Nightingale and believe it to be the most honest account of what the personal development movement is about. Have a look and let me know what you think, it is a real eye opener because it was filmed way back in the 1950s.

The ABC of Successful Relationships

Delighted to provide you with up to date information and great articles from around the world with regard to helping you enhance your relationships. This month I share with you a wonderful article from Conscious Dating. Michelle E Vasquez discusses the "A-Z of relationships" Please feel free to leave a comment to share your thoughts on some of the issues raised in the article. Please also feel free to contact me to let me know if this is the type of article you enjoy reading so I can make sure to find more stimulating topics. Enjoy the read!
In this month's article, RCI coach Michelle Vasquez takes us through the "relationship alphabet," sharing thoughtful tips and suggestions for enriching all the relationships of our lives. These wonderful reminders are helpful to those who are just entering a new relationship, those in a relationship, as well as for those who are still searching for the love of their life.

Tara Kachaturoff
Editor

Appreciation and acceptance. Many people need appreciation more than they need love. Accepting your partner and letting go of the need to fix him/her is a sign of maturity and will help you live a more peaceful life.

Benevolence. See your partner with loving eyes. Remember, daily, why you chose to be together.

Commitment. Without commitment, you don't have a relationship. Commitment is the glue that holds the relationship together. When you're committed, you're saying, "I'll do whatever it takes to make my relationship work."

Drop defenses. When you defend yourself, you are looking at your partner as if he or she were your enemy. Seek first to understand instead of raising your shields.

Encouragement. Invest in your relationship by being generous with your words of encouragement.

Forgiveness. We all make mistakes. Choose to be the first to forgive and you'll find that you're forgiven quickly when you mess up.

Gratitude. Choose to find reasons to be grateful for your relationship. Start a gratitude journal and list three things you're grateful for every day. You'll be pleasantly surprised at the results.

Honesty. Brutal honesty and "constructive criticism" have no place in a successful
relationship. Tactfully expressing your thoughts and feelings creates a safe place for your relationship to grow. This is the kind of honesty that nourishes relationships.

Interdependence. This is a balance between the extremes of codependency and extreme independence. People in successful relationships know they can depend on each other while still having the freedom to learn and grow in their own interests. They are secure with themselves and in their relationship.

Joy. Express your excitement to each other when you have successes. Find reasons to be joyful. Watch silly comedies if you can't find a reason to laugh. Laughter is a crucial element in successful relationships.

Kindness. Practice random acts of kindness in your relationship. Think "simple and small." It will be noticed and appreciated.

Loyalty. Be respectful of your partner's privacy. If you speak about your partner to others, make sure you say kind things about her or him. Remember that if you gain sympathy from friends and family by telling them how bad your partner is, they may also resent your partner (and you) when you resolve the conflict. Talk to a professional instead – whether it be a relationship coach, a marriage counselor, a pastor or a priest.

Maturity. Maturity means you can choose whether to engage in an argument. You can
step back and assess a situation without jumping to conclusions. You're ready to listen to your partner. You avoid mind-reading, and instead, you seek to understand.

Negotiate differences. When you have the inevitable conflicts, you look for solutions and stay away from blame. Blame makes you the victim and keeps you from taking responsibility. It stunts your personal growth.

Open to new ideas. You choose to live an aware life on a path of growth. You realize that your relationship needs nurturing to grow.

Pay attention. You'll know your partner's likes and dislikes if you simply pay attention. Be aware of your partner's successes and failures. Share in the joy and be attentive to their pain.

Quiet time together. Quality time together doesn't always mean "talk time." Watch a movie, read a book, or simply be in the same room together. These are simple ways to spend quiet time together.

Respect. The old adage "give respect to get respect" is really important in your relationship. If you belittle and criticize your partner, and then complain that she or he doesn't respect you, you're expecting your partner to change first. That rarely works. What else can you do?

Strong support system. You need support to keep your relationship viable. If it takes a whole village to raise a child, it takes a whole village to help a relationship thrive. Surround yourself with people who want your relationship to succeed.

Trust. Decide to give your partner your trust. In return, be trustworthy.

Unselfish attitude. When relationships go sour, somebody got selfish. Examine your behavior. Do you always want things your way? Do you think of yourself first?

Volunteer. Unless your relationship began with a shotgun (shotgun wedding), you volunteered to be here. Nobody forced you to be in this relationship. When you volunteer to do something, you commit to being there and doing what it takes to get the job done.

Warmth. Too many times when people argue, they punish each other with cold, silent withdrawal. Keep in mind that you can take time apart to think over your differences without resorting to a week of silent treatment. Create a new strategy for conflict. Agree to take a break to cool off and work on finding a solution.

Xenial attitude. The word "xenial" relates to being kind to strangers. If you treat your partner the way you would treat a stranger, with politeness and courtesy, you will avoid the trap of that old Mills Brothers' song, "You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all."

Yield. This doesn't mean you just have to "just take it" when you're in a conflict. The ability to yield demands a high level of maturity and self-confidence. You can stop a fight by simply yielding. It doesn't mean you think you're wrong; it can mean you would rather "win" the relationship than win the argument.

Zeal and zest. Be passionate about your relationship. Celebrate your successes together. Take time to remember why you fell in love with each other.

Copyright © 2009 by Michelle Vasquez. All rights reserved in all media.

Michelle Vasquez
Michelle E. Vásquez, MS, LPC, is an RCI Relationship Coach who helps singles and couples attract the life they want and create the relationships that bring them joy. She specializes in working with couples who are experiencing relationship difficulties as well as with singles who want to find the love of their life. www.MichelleVasquez.com. 714.717.5744

50 Ways To Meet Your Lover

There's an old Paul Simon song "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." It tells the listener the amount of ways to sneak away from a lover, "slip out the back Jack...make a new plan Stan...you don't need to be coy Roy...you just listen to me...you just hope on the bus Guss...you don't need to discuss much...you just drop off the key Lee...and get yourself FREE!!!"

Well, how about if there was a guide that told you the 50 ways to MEET your lover? How would that sound? I have searched the Internet, book and film world. I have looked high and low...I've been here there and everywhere (there's another song there too) and spent many days, nights and sleepless weekends racking my brain to find a way to communicate it to you my dear readers, how to find and keep your lover.

Firstly, you have to really truly believe that you deserve to have the perfect partner. Now when I say "perfect" I don't mean that they are flawless...No! What I mean is that they are perfect for you!


Secondly, once you have really truly deep down honest to God felt that deserving feeling, well you then go right on to the next step, which is to answer a few questions about your past. I don't mean your past with previous relationships, heck no. I mean the past from childhood to the present day, maybe even right up until this morning!

This stage will take some time and it is so worth it because until you have dusted those past cobwebs away and cleared the space for this lovely person to come into your life, guess what friend? The only thing you are going to attract is bugs, well this after all is what cobwebs attract isn't it? Have a think about the films you see with cobwebs in houses and squeaky creaky doors...what image does it conjure up? What feeling does it convey...happiness? Bliss? Tranquility? Absolutely not. So have a picture in your mind of something more peaceful and see what you come up with.

The remaining questions you need to ask are in my Build Your Dream Relationship Course, so if you want to find out exactly what they are, then please leave your email address in the sign up box and I will email them to you absolutely FREE!!! I'll tell you right now, there is something you can buy later on if you want to, but this is not part of that. I am offering you to receive some great information that will spiral you forward with regard to your love life.

There are so many people around waiting to meet you but you may not even be looking at them or considering them because they don't fit into your projected image of the "perfect partner". Well, once you realise the kind of person that truly could be the best match for you, you may be surprised to find out that all these years they've been living next door! Or working with you! Or just up the road! Or maybe you have to make a trip abroad and you meet that person in the new town you've moved to! Or you know that course you signed up for? Well that Miss, Mrs, Mr or Ms Match made in the real world dot com is there and you connect in a way you never connected with anyone before, you know it is right and you will never look back. So how do you get to that point?...

Send me an email and I will tell you!
Lots of love

How I manifested the love of my life

I would like to share a story with you, if I may, that reinforces the belief that gratitude and appreciation are what is required to manifest what you truly want and need. I experienced a heartbreaking end to a relationship with someone I thought was the love of my life several years ago. My initial response was filled with anger and resentment. Everything at the time became a problem, my finances were a mess, my house was a mess, my emotions were all over the place. I spent every day crying and hardly slept. All I wanted at the time was to be back with this person as I truly believed this would make me happy. I began to read books and articles about winning back a lost love and getting back to gether with an ex.

I discovered during my search that the anger I felt had actually been holding me back, not only from getting back together with this person, but from experiencing any kind of happiness in other areas of my life. I started to focus my thoughts on things that I appreciated and spent more time feeling grateful for all the wonderful people and experiences I have in my life. I noticed how things were beginning to change and I slowly began to change my outlook which then increased the improvements I was starting to see. I steadily began to feel happier inside and this became clear to those around me.

Without working too hard, my career prospects improved, I spent more time enjoying activities with my son and friends, I developed a gratitude that surpassed the feelings of anger and solitude I had been previously feeling and began to realise that I already had what I wanted...Love.

What I learned throughout this experience was that I had limiting beliefs regarding the kind of relationship I could have in my life. Once I uncovered what those limiting beliefs were, I was able to become clear about the kind of man I wanted in my life and what my ideal relationship would look like.

The Universe connected me with a man who is loving, kind, respectful and has a compassion for others. We are now developing our relationship and planning our future. I am now applying this knowledge to other areas in my life and am very excited about the way things are panning out.

Loving Parenting

I have spent some time thinking today about what it's all about. As a parent it has always been important to me to make sure I bring my son up to become a peaceful person and to have respect for himself and others. It hasn't always been easy. It has been incredibly rewarding though. I've just finished reading The Buddha in Daily Life, a book by Richard Causton which is an introduction to Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism. While I was reading the book, I experienced some illuminating realisations. I wished I had made some notes. However, what was most important for me was to read the book and absorb the material.
During the time I spent reading, I realised more and more that I have a really great relationship with my teenage son. I notice each day how parents interact with their children and I believe that one of the ways to lasting peace is for parents to develop a greater understanding of who their child is, to encourage them to be who they are and to support them to be true to themselves.
Like I mentioend earlier, it hasn't always been easy bringing up a young man in today's anti young people society. I have often gone against the grain because I have given him the opportunity to find his own way and to make decisions and choices based on the information he has available to him. I see today a young adult who has a strong sense of who he is and what he wants from life. We have our moments of conflict, however, we resolve things in a way that shows respect and one that mostly nurtures a self who is valued and loved. This, I wholeheartedly believe, is a way towards lasting global peace.
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